I am fast approaching a photoshoot. What this means is that I am getting fitness photos done for my own personal use (a few projects that I've got going on) and I need to look as fit as humanely possible in them. I admit I am one of those fitness girls with a desire to look as jacked and shredded as humanly possible. I drool over the shredded WBFF girls, and even admire the new class of Physique women. No, I will never, ever look like that. I don't have the body (or willingness to use steriods) to get that huge and vascular. I am a teeny, tiny person (I call myself a miniature person) and you will never EVER see me on even a figure stage. However, I will dream big and keep these woman as my aspiration.

After the Oxygen Cover Model contest in 2013

        For me, the hardest part of these fitness competitions is the mental aspect. The self-doubt, confusion, flip-flopping of mental image (from "I got this"...to "oh shit I look like an amateur," in a span of 2 hours). It's tough to deal with. Maybe it's just me...maybe the other girls have their shit together and have an iron focus. I don't, but that's part of the exhilaration. Training for a fitness competition is a long process, of months. I've done one prep in 8 weeks, and mentally it was a piece of cake, physically I was a complete mess at the end, although I came in very lean (on the second day of the show, not the first when the actual judging was done. I also got into a raging battle with the bf in the morning, got tanner on my suit and then had to do a last minute borrow of competition suits from my make up artist.-- THANK GOD my life is not like this chaotic anymore.)
        This last prep was about 3 years ago now. In the mean time I fell in love with my boss and acquired him and a doggy child, moved across the city to re-establish my business, gotten engaged, wrecked my tibal tendon (6 months of leg training) and just started to work the legs again. Needing something to light a fire under my ass as I discovered my fiance would be away for the majority of the summer, I decided to sign up for a fitness competition again. So October 21st,  I will be heading to Gatineau to compete in the Fall Spectacular with SAF. I am very, very excited.
        For some reason, whenever I sign up for these competitions, my body kicks into gear and eating properly becomes a no brainer. It's easy. I have no urge to binge, I feed my properly, and that's that. It's kind of ridiculous, but it forces me to get fit and take care of myself. I think it is important to recognize these trends. I am excited to see what I am capable of and how much that I can accomplish in five months.
       One of things a true pro will do, is to recognize their short falls. I know that I am overthinking the competition. I'm worried that I will fall short of looking "exceptional" and am motivated to make the changes that I need to prevent failure. Yes, I am holding myself to a high standard. I know what I am capable of, and I feel like the worst failure is selling myself short. If I don't win because my competition looks stunning and well conditioned, and my short calves and thicker ankles, or I don't have a super defined 6 pack I will be ok with that. Genetically, there's only so much one can do.
       Another area of weakness is the model walk and stage presence. I will have to practice. Over and over and over again. Which I hate, and always avoid.This will be started MONTHS in advance. I don't think it is possible to over prepare. I don't think there is usually a justification for missing a day of training in show preparation. No one shows up and regrets being too conditioned. Go the gym. Every fucking day. Simple. But now one week from photoshoot, I am a little nervous. I know how I want to look, and I know that I won't be there in 7 days. However, there is only so much that I can control at this point. I cannot wait to see the beautiful art that my make up artist and photographer create. I will also be wearing some art, leggings by Nadia Lloyd, which I want to bring to life on camera.
          So while my goals may seem a little shallow and superficial (lift weights, look hot) the reality is that to me it is about overcoming: #1 my past failed competition preps #2 unhealthy habits including drinking! #3 becoming more known and successful in my field of business. 6 more sleeps!!

I want these legs back! They're about half the size now :( 2012 IDFA 4th Place Fitness Modeal