I recently started reading Moody Bitches by Julie Holland MD. The book talks about female hormones throughout life, mood swings, and how so many of us opt to medicate ourselves with prescription drugs and birth control pills. As a women who had been on birth control pills for over 15 years, and antidepressant meds for the same time, and also as a women working in the health industry and helping others industry, I think a lot of this information is very important. In fact, I think all women should be made aware of how body chemistry affects our lives, including how we chose a mate, and how we get a long with them.

       For the first time in decades I am un-medicated, and off SSRIs. I also have a hormonal IUD, after having terrible side effects from high estrogen birth control. I had my first "period" this week (I don't bleed at all, but obviously there are still hormones circulating which can lead to PMS symptoms. I cannot tell you how awful I felt all week. Mood swings, hating my relationship, self-doubt, hating life. No one told me that I should pay attention or be aware of impending changes, just that "You won't get a period." No one told me what long term birth control use would do, or what long term SSRI use actually does to the brain (essentially numbs us, and can even prevent us from finding the right mate). I was so confused with all of these new emotions which had been blunted from medication that it took me a bit to figure out what was going on. I actually had gone into the book store to cheer myself up because I was so down, and this book ended up being just what I needed.

        So enough about me, but I really found that knowing the scientific knowledge of why our moods do what they do, and how to work with them to really live the satisfying and full life that you deserve, to be very helpful. Bodybuilding is so much more to me than working out, it's about giving yourself more in life, more health, more opportunities, and a chance to live a healthy, pain free adulthood.

Here's a quick excerpt from the book:

Mindfulness sounds simple, but it's hard to be alone with yourself and your feelings. Most people will expend all kinds of energy keeping busy in ten different directions to avoid it. One study showed that people prefer to I've themselves an electric shock if it means they can be doing something instead of being left alone with their thoughts, doing nothing. 

We all find ways to forget ourselves, to get away from it all. We try to catapult out of our ruts and into a state of bliss. This is why we use drugs, alcohol, food, and screens. They readily induce a dissociated state, helping us to forget ourselves. We use them because we want things to be different. We're rejecting reality. The problem is ....the drug makes them feel different, but not necessarily better. Yet they keep trying, hoping they can get what they are looking for. This is another example of scratching around the itch but never satisfying the agnst.

Later in the novel, Dr. Holland goes on to speak about how technology becomes another addiction that we use to try to escape from our current world and feeling. She notes that trying to pay attention to many devices can actually drain your attention and affect how you focus. She also compares using social media like facebook and instagram to bingeing on junk food. You fill up with the superficial crap, and then have less of a hunger to consume more nutritious food, or  healthful social interactions with loved ones. The meaningful social interactions will truly nuture our soul's, yet we are so drained and want to shut off the world, that we turn to technology to dull the senses. The brain gets triggered neurally from technology, the same way that they a drug addicts gets a rush of dopamine from preparing their drugs.

Now, I am definitively awful with social media, and at one point went without internet in my home. If I wanted to work or surf I had to drag my laptop to free wi-fi 10 minutes away. This was probably one of the smartest things I've done, but needless to say I've regressed.

I think everyone has had a time in their lives where we use one substance or another to zone or blank out, I've spoken to many about how they need their quiet time after work, munching away in front of the computer, or those that just can't get rid of that nightly glass of wine,  While it may be only a 76 calories, the symbolism of using the wine to numb the feelings is the most important part of the work that needs to be done

I need to head to work, but I really couldn't wait to share some of what I've learned this week
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